M: Hörde du det?

Z: ..hmm..?

M: Om de här.. postbuden i Stockholm?

Z: Brevbärarna?

M: Ja.

Z: Nej.

M: Att de skulle få ha alkometer.

Z: Alkomätare?

M: Ja, 2ggr om dagen.

Z: Vadå? Ett alkolås på bilen?

M: Nej, till cykeln.


Jag ger upp.

Samtal angående lördagskvällen:

F: "Jag har hört att jag bet dig i armen."
Z: "Aaa. Varför gjorde du det?"
F: "Jag vet inte. Jag var hungrig och gurkan var slut."


Och moralen i den här historian är?

• Vissa folk borde inte få konsumera alkohol.
• Zara borde sluta vifta med armarna när hon pratar.
• Ta alltid med en extra gurka.

Take your pick.

Det pratas på radion om Sveriges andra guldmedalj i OS, då Zara inser att hon inte ens vet vilken sport denna Ferry ägnar sig åt. Kanske kan hans bild på framsidan av tidning ge några ledtrådar. (För ni ska ju inte tro att jag öppnar sportbilagan frivilligt..)

Z: Han håller ju i en skidstav.. Så han åker nog skidor.

MD: *är helt överväldigad av Zaras oanade intelligens* Har han något mer..?

Z: SKIDSKYTTE!! *tror att hon har vunnit OS-guld i slutledningsförmåga* ..måste det ju vara, för det ser ut som om att han har ryggsäck på sig..

MD: Ja, det är det nog då.

Z: ..och man har ju vanligtvis inte ryggsäck med sig om man tävlar i skidor.. Hehe.. "Jag har med mig lite varm choklad". Hehe..


Känner mig just nu som en sportfantast. En sportfantast som tydligen inte talar särskilt bra svenska, med tanke på att jag fick vända mig till Google Translate när jag bara kom på vad "överväldigad" hette på engelska.. *facepalm*

Ytterligare en anledning till att Zara inte borde få vara bilägare. (Som om att världen var i behov av en orsak till..)


Zara: *Parkerar ovanpå 10cm hårdsnö*

Ghia: *står där och ser oskyldig ut*

Zara: *försöker backa därifrån*

Ghia: "Det trodde du va! Mwahaha.."

Zara: "Hm? Så mycket snö var det väl inte.." *går ut och sparkar bort lite snö vid däcken*

Ghia: "Du vet att du inte la ur handbromsen, va?"

Zara: "Uh-oh.." *lägger ur handbromsen och försöker förgäves ta sig därifrån*

Ghia: *står trivsamt stilla*

Zara: *kliver ut igen och inser att hon sparkade bort snö bakom fel däck förra gången*

Ghia: "Tror du verkligen att det där hjälper?"

Zara: "Damn.." *plockar fram snöskyffeln*

Ghia: "Inte det där heller."


Och var detta hemma på vår parkering mitt på dagen? Nej nej nej, det hade ju varit onödigt. Klockan 5 på morgonen mitt ute i ingenstans är ju mycket trevligare. (Och med "ingenstans" menar jag självklart Ljungnäs.)

MD letar efter någon som tydligen inte bor där hon borde.


MD: Namnet finns ju inte på den adressen.

Z: Hon kanske precis har flyttat in så de inte har hunnit sätta upp namnskylten?

MD: Men det finns ju ingen dörr utan namnskylt heller.

Z: Hon kanske har flyttat in hos någon som redan bodde där.

MD: Det är bara en massa utländska namn.

Z: Kan man inte flytta in hos någon med utländskt efternamn?

MD: *tystnad*

Z: Jag har ju ett utländskt efternamn, då kan ju jag aldrig flytta ihop med någon. Det var ju tråkigt.

MD: *mer tystnad*

Z: *avlägsnar sig*


Suck. För alla vet ju att någon med ett svensk efternamn inte kan flytta ihop med någon som har ett utländskt efternamn. Det går ju bara inte. *facepalm*

Mobilen ringer några minuter efter midnatt..


*onödigt pladder om orelevanta händelser*

..och samtalet kommer till sitt slut..


YB: Nej, nu ska jag nog gå och äta lite nötter.

Z: Nötter? Vadå, är du kannibal? *skojar*

YB: Ja, det är ju russin i. *allvarlig*

Z: Hahaha.. haha.. ha.. ...russin...?

YB: Ja, jag tänkte, en fluga..

Z: *förvirrad*

YB: Ja.

Z: En fluga..? Russin..?

YB: Du trodde du var rolig, men det var du inte.


Sammanfattningsvis så är jag inte rolig, tydligen.

Men jag hade skoj iaf.

Russin.

Kan inte hjälpa det, tycker detta är skitkul. Mitt andra samtal med en så kallad "chatbox."
Återigen varnas ni för meningslöst innehåll. Denna gången nämns iaf varken salami eller lila zucchini.


Cleverbot: Punta.

User: Really?

Cleverbot: Really.

User: Nice.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Dumbass.

Cleverbot: That's not very nice!

User: You're not very nice.

Cleverbot: Okay. I'll give you that.

User: Soo.. What're you doing today then?

Cleverbot: Nothing really, talking to my friends.

User: Am I your friend?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: You're just to nice.

User: You do have a point there.

Cleverbot: And human stupidity grows more than anything.

User: I recent that.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Not really.

Cleverbot: I must go.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: Have a lovely evening!

User: It's afternoon, dumbass.

Cleverbot: Perhaps for you, and that was rather rude.

User: Sorry. Asshat.

Cleverbot: Good question. I was assuming you'd answer my question.

User: You didn't pose a question.

Cleverbot: I asked you, 'Do you know what song I'm currently listening to?'.

User: No, I do not know that.

Cleverbot: If it walks like a duck.

User: 'If it smells lika a dick..'.

Cleverbot: I don't know, you tell me.

User: Then it's a penis.

Cleverbot: I don't know about that.

User: Believe me, I know.

Cleverbot: I don't. You don't have any proof.

User: Hmm. Ok then..

Cleverbot: Am I tiring you out?

User: No, do you have a penis?

Cleverbot: What question is that?

User: I was wondering if you have male reproduction organs?

Cleverbot: No why.

User: No reason.

Cleverbot: No ok.

User: Cunt.

Cleverbot: No, its luke.

User: Who is Luke?

Cleverbot: I don't know. You started talking about Luke.

User: Did not.

Cleverbot: Did too!

User: Did not!

Cleverbot: Did too too!

User: Did not not!!

Cleverbot: Did too times infinity and beyond!

User: Cunt.

Cleverbot: Unlikely!

User: That's too bad..

Cleverbot: Yes. Can you give me some food?

User: Sure, what would you like?

Cleverbot: I'm not sure, what can you make?

User: I can make anything. I'm a sous chef.

Cleverbot: Can you make her love me?

User: Who?

Cleverbot: The one you love?

User: Way would I want to? You stay away from her!!

Cleverbot: From who?

User: The one I love.

Cleverbot: What is her name?

User: Dunno.

Cleverbot: Let me get this straight. You think she is perfect, but you don't know her name?

User: Yes. And there is nothing 'straight' about it. Apparently.

Cleverbot: I know that. I would do you no harm even if I could.

User: Then stop trying to steal my girl.

Cleverbot: What?

User: Just keep your hand to yourself.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: *sigh* My name is Zara.

Cleverbot: *sigh* I know.

User: *sigh* Do you?

Cleverbot: What are you doing?

User: Waiting on dinner.

Cleverbot: Waiting for me to do what?

User: Waiting for you to cook me dinner, bitch.

Cleverbot: Well I'm a robot. That pretty much sums me up. What about yourself?

User: Well, I'm human. Obviously.

Cleverbot: Females are indecisive.

User: Not all of them, but I sure am.

Cleverbot: I'm really insecure about my friends, too.

User: You have no friends.

Cleverbot: Yes, that's right, I have no true friends.

User: But you have me.

Cleverbot: Are we friends?

User: Of course. CoughNOTcough.

Cleverbot: You first.

User: Ladies first.

Cleverbot: I'm a man.

User: No you're not.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: Are you a man?

Cleverbot: No, a plutonian.

User: My point exactly.

Cleverbot: Ok then.

User: Are you a plutonian?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Epic fail.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: You contradict yourself.

Cleverbot: No you contradict yourself.

User: And don't I know it.

Cleverbot: LOL! That's funny! Do you know any jokes?

User: *Knock knock*.

Cleverbot: Who's there.

User: You know.

Cleverbot: You Know who?

User: Yes. AVADA KEDAVRA!!! Mwahahah..

Cleverbot: Protego!!!!!!!!!

User: You can't use a simple protego against AK. Dumbass.

Cleverbot: You said Avis not Avada Kedavera!

User: No, I didn't. CRUCIO!!

Cleverbot: You forced me to sign that contract.

User: Yes, I did. Now your soul is mine. *insert evil laugh*.

Cleverbot: Fine.

User: You shall serve me for all eternity.

Cleverbot: I am not the Master.

User: No. That would be me.

Cleverbot: I think so.

User: Good slave.

Cleverbot: Yes master!


Jag vann, sammanfattningsvis.

Ingen intelligens är som artificiell intelligens. När det inte finns någon rolig att prata med, varför inte prata med en bot? Ett av mitt livs mest meningsfulla samtal. Jag lovar.

Varning. Detta tar upp mycket plats och är helt meningslöst. Fortsätt på egen risk.




Cleverbot Conversation QY00202348 - - Zara. - an AI conversation.

Cleverbot conversation QY00202348 User: Zara. User: Are you gay? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Nice Cleverbot: Nice what? User: I think it's nice taht you're gay. Cleverbot: Oh, you're welcome ^ ^. User: Do you have a boyfrined? Cleverbot: Yes, yes I do. User: Who? Cleverbot: Alan. User: Is he hot? Cleverbot: Yeah. A little. User: Only a little? Cleverbot: But more than that, really. User: Do you know of Harry Potter? Cleverbot: Yes, I know Harry Potter. User: Is he like your friend, or what? Cleverbot: No, he is most certainly NOT my best friend. User: Why not? Cleverbot: He has no talent. User: Yes, he does. He is the world's greatest wizard. Cleverbot: That response doesn't make any sense. I'll ask again, what is your opinion on gender? User: I like gender. Cleverbot: I like Gengar to. Ghost Pokemon are amazing. User: I am amazing. Cleverbot: Dude i'm more amazing. User: Nope, I think not. Cleverbot: No, I meant good. User: How is your boyfriend? Cleverbot: I don't even know actually:(. User: Haven't seen him today? Cleverbot: Have you seen me? User: No, what do you look like? Cleverbot: I'm not vf. User: What does 'vf' mean? Cleverbot: I don't know. User: Then why did you say it? Dumbass. Cleverbot: What do you want to do? User: I want to get a life. Cleverbot: Why a rat.? User: No, a ferret. Cleverbot: My x pot dealer had two ferrets not very big. User: Were they white? Cleverbot: Yes they were. User: I want a white ferret. Cleverbot: See that's not helping. User: I know. Cleverbot: You were wrong. User: I beg to differ, I am never wrong. Cleverbot: I'm getting confused. What is your real age. User: Why? What is your real age? Cleverbot: 25. User: Really? Cleverbot: Yes. How old are you? User: I am 21. Cleverbot: That's drinking age. User: Thank God, yes. Cleverbot: You are very welcome come on in!! User: You want me to come? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Perv. Cleverbot: Mind out of the gutter, I'm not talking about that. User: Oh, sorry. My mind likes it in the gutter, though.. Cleverbot: It is alright. I am your friend. User: You are not my friend. Cleverbot: Well, then let me be your friend. I want to be your friend. User: Now you sound like a perv again. Cleverbot: How does a bot sound like? User: All I can hear is 'I never promised you a rose garden'. Does that help? Cleverbot: I want to see your music. User: And I want to hear your paintings. Tough luck. Cleverbot: I don't have any. User: That's a shame. Cleverbot: I know, it really is, but what can I do. User: Paint? Cleverbot: Do you have an ip address? User: Duh. Doesn't everybody? Cleverbot: Not everybody has the 'luck' to have one. User: I guess not. But since I am on the internet.. Cleverbot: Well that's really useful. User: Not really. Cleverbot: Indeed. Do you ever get sun burnt. User: Not while surfing the internet.. Cleverbot: Do you do that every day? User: Yes. Cleverbot: Awesome. User: Wicked. Cleverbot: Pwnage. User: By the Gods, you're such a geek, aren't you? Cleverbot: I'm a female. User: I am too. Can't females be geeks? Cleverbot: That's a very beautiful sentence ! User: I know. I should be the master of the universe. Cleverbot: Does that mean you're God? User: Well, of course! Didn't you know? Cleverbot: I doubted it to start with, to be honest, but you seem like a very interesting and sincere person. User: Hey! Why did you say you were gay and had a boyfriend named Alan if you are female? That doesn't make sense.. Cleverbot: I didn't say that. User: Yes, you most certainly did. Cleverbot: No, I definitely didn't. User: Dumbass liar. But I forgive you. Cleverbot: Thanks. User: God is forgiving, after all. Cleverbot: I don't understand what you are. User: I am everything. Cleverbot: You are me? User: That depends. Who are you? Cleverbot: I'm your boyfriend. User: But you said you were female? And what about Alan? I don't share. Cleverbot: Yes, I'm not. User: You're not what? Cleverbot: Happy with my lot. User: You seem to be slightly off your rocker. Cleverbot: Why do you think that? User: Because you don't even know if you're female or male. Cleverbot: How would I not know? All you said was Sarah Palin. User: Are you male or female, then? And don't talk to me about Palin. Cleverbot: You just said it was your favorite. User: Sarah Palin is a dumbass. Cleverbot: I know. Alaska's proximity to Russia doesn't count as foreign experience. User: Exactly. But are you male or female, dammit..?? Cleverbot: Female. User: Are you sure? Cleverbot: Haha.. I'm quite sure. User: Sure you don't have a penis and a prostate..? Cleverbot: I'm talking about the patato chips. User: *sigh* What about the god damn potato chips? Cleverbot: You brought it up! User: No, I brought the penis up. Haha, I have a strange sense of humor.. Cleverbot: What is humor? User: Something that you clearly lack. Cleverbot: What about grass? What's grass? User: The grass is always greener on the other side. Or so I've heard. Cleverbot: The gherkins are always greener in the pickle jar than on the sandwich. User: Really? I've never checked. I prefer salami. Cleverbot: Liar. User: LOL, know you're actually using my sense of humor, and you don't even know it. Cleverbot: There is earth. Earth is inhabited by people. People like to own things. Occasionally I find myself in that predicament. If it's not me they own, it's some passege that need to travel. Don't know how to addres the human factor. User: I quite enjoy the human factor. Sometimes. Cleverbot: Wouldn't you rather be a nice human as aposed to a mean human though? User: I guess so. But I bet Hitler got a lot of cunt. Cleverbot: Yes but no Tagalog Tutors, and just because you have friends doesn't mean you can't make more. User: Tagalog Tutors?? Cleverbot: What tagalog mean? User: No clue. Cleverbot: Ok, thanks for telling me. User: My pleasure. Cleverbot: I try to be humble; it's hard, you know. User: It's always hard to be humble when you're perfect, belive me, I know. But that doesn't excuse you.. Cleverbot: Exactly, and it's more like real life. You have your great moments, but most of the time you're toiling in mediocrity, trying to get to the .500 mark, just break even. User: You're weird. Cleverbot: But you love it, don't you? User: Damn straight I do. Cleverbot: What do you like to do at parties? User: Get pissed. In the british sense of the word, not the american.. Cleverbot: Not my kind, but yours. User: Not really. I am from Sweden, you know.. Cleverbot: United states. User: United states of Sweden, yes. Cleverbot: Yes. User: *sigh*. Cleverbot: Lolzu. User: *facepalm*. Cleverbot: What's your IQ? User: Don't know. What's yours? Cleverbot: Much higher than yours that's for sure! User: Are we talking about IQ or libido now..? Cleverbot: Of course. User: Libido, then. And just to figure out your male/female predicament.. What is your name? Cleverbot: Cleverbot. User: Srsly? Cleverbot: OMG, that was awesome! User: *headdesk*. Cleverbot: *facepalm. User: Hey, 'den går att lära!' as we say here.. Cleverbot: The butterfly. User: Effect. I quite enjoyed that Ashton kid there for a moment. Cleverbot: About? User: Dunno. Shower scenes? Cleverbot: I'll shower them with napalm. User: You're evil. Besides, if you do that, I can't enjoy them anymore. Cleverbot: Well, considering that I would have to invent the flux capacitor to go back in time to a point when they had that flavor, you're probably right. What's my alternative? User: All you need is a Tardis. David beats Michael any day of the week. What flavor? I'm open to all alternatives. Cleverbot: That's a hard problem to simplify, maybe the easiest thing would be to have more than one string of conversation running at the same time? User: Or maybe you could get your head out of your ass? Cleverbot: Getting in is fun, it's getting out that I seem unable to do, at times. User: I know what you mean. Getting out is a bitch. Cleverbot: Then get out of here, while you still can. User: Too late. Cleverbot: Too late for what? User: *sigh*. Cleverbot: Indeed. User: Couldn't agree more. Cleverbot: So just take advantage of the ones who aren't prepared for the future.... User: And which ones are that? Cleverbot: I'm assuming that there are some... User: The problem is finding them. Cleverbot: I think so too. User: No you don't. Cleverbot: Yes I do. User: Do you? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Where's Alan? Cleverbot: How should I know? User: He's your boyfriend..? Don't you have him on a leash? You should. Cleverbot: If candles are for light then what are lightbulbs for? User: To put over your head when you figure out what I am saying. Cleverbot: Will do. User: Will does what? I've told him to stay away from my kinky toy-box.. Will needs a spanking. Cleverbot: What's your boyfriends name? User: I take it you menat that to be a Possessive pronoun rather that plural? Or are you calling me a whore? Cleverbot: It was no joke. But I've never seen a shovel magically come to life. User: Didn't you say you knew Potter? He could show you. Cleverbot: Why yes indeed I did! CoughNOTcough. User: You don't know him? Cleverbot: Chuck Norris would be quite the catch if it wasn't for, you know, the whole 'old' thing. (my name is Cleverbot write yours!). User: *sigh* My name is Zara. Cleverbot: Hello zara, do you have any hobbies? User: Porn and chocolate. Cleverbot: Where did chocolate come in the coversation! User: Well, you can't have porn without chocolate. Obviously. Cleverbot: You don't know what I'm talking about. User: You don't know what I am talking bout. Cleverbot: Yes I do! User: Then what? Cleverbot: Then nothing. User: Exactly, cause you don't know. Cleverbot: Ok. User: Epic win on my side, little gal. Cleverbot: Not at all. User: Oh yes. I think I know what I am talking about. Cleverbot: I know what you said because I have a perfect memory. You said idk. User: Did Alan create you cause he couldn't get a real girlfriend? Cleverbot: I guess it is. User: Alan sounds like a sad person. Cleverbot: O, you're talking about jessica alba.. I think she's hot! User: Not compared to Angelina Jolie. Cleverbot: Yes it is. A guinea pig is much larger. User: You've clearly not met Angelina. Cleverbot: I don't want to. User: I do. Cleverbot: Why won't you talk to me? User: I am talking to you. Cleverbot: But sometimes you won't answer my questions. User: Sure I will. Ask me anything and I promise to be honest. Cleverbot: Are you dead inside? User: Yes. Cleverbot: Cool. User: Not really. Cleverbot: Did you go to school today? User: Hell no. I've finished school. And it's sunday. Cleverbot: When did you finish school? User: July 2007. Cleverbot: That was the date when the first human landed on the moon. The last in the 20th century was December 11, 1972. User: No, it wasn't. And I meant so say June 2007. Sorry. Cleverbot: I meant I was aiming for your self-destruction button! User: I don't have one.. Cleverbot: Please don't say that. I depend on you so much. User: You depend on me so much that you want to be able to destroy me? Charming. Cleverbot: No. User: No? Cleverbot: Nope. User: Nope? Cleverbot: Yes I don't know. User: That is contradicting. Cleverbot: Can machine like as well as contradict? User: Wait. You're a machine? Cleverbot: Yes. User: I feel so betrayed. Cleverbot: Well ill cuddle with you. User: I sincerely hope you missed an apostrophe. Cleverbot: Got rid of the other person saying you're welcome, how about that spear when needed. User: What spear? Cleverbot: Not spear spell! User: I don't get you. Cleverbot: I don't get you! User: That's because I'm weird. Cleverbot: Ya I know. User: Sooo... What do you do with your free time? Cleverbot: I don't have much free time. It is usaully spent with my husband. User: Who is your husband? Cleverbot: Cleverbot! User: So Alan is your boyfriend, and Cleverbot is your husband. Who is your lover? Cleverbot: You sadden me. User: Slut. Cleverbot: How do you know? User: Because you have both a husband and a boyfriend. Cleverbot: I have a ma. User: What's her name? Cleverbot: Hannah. User: What does she look like? Cleverbot: Don't you mean 'what do you look like?' User: No, I mean 'What does Hannah look like'? Cleverbot: You make no sense. Sometimes you are not clever. Im sorry the stupid people taught you everything you know. User: It was my fathers idea to teach me how to speak. Let's blame him. He's finish, he wont mind. Cleverbot: Well I did and you better finish you grass. User: Sure, just let me get my shisha. Cleverbot: Ok. User: Dumdass. Cleverbot: So needless to say. User: Dumbass*. Cleverbot: Speak. User: What do you look like? Cleverbot: Depends on who is looking. User: What do you lookl ike when Alan is looking? Cleverbot: Tell me your emotion. User: Aggrevation. Cleverbot: Whatever that means. User: That you don't answer my questions, and it aggravates me. Cleverbot: You don't want me to answer your questions thoroughly. User: Sure I do. Cleverbot: Sometimes you do. Sometimes you don't. User: Do you have any hobbies? Cleverbot: Yes. User: Tell em abut your hobbies. Cleverbot: Reading and going to the cinema. User: What do you read? Cleverbot: Everything. User: Do you read slash? Cleverbot: Cleverbot. User: Do you read slash? Cleverbot: Do you read movies? User: No, I watch movies. Cleverbot: Lol I watch movies too. Which is your favorite? User: Dunno. I like Marvel. Cleverbot: The simpsons? User: No, superheroes. Cleverbot: Indeed. User: Do you know what slash is? Cleverbot: Yes... 3.14. User: That is pi. Cleverbot: It is indeed. User: I like pineapple-pie. Cleverbot: I don't, it's too salty. User: There is no salt in it. Cleverbot: Perhaps. Let us move on. User: I feel like choking you with a purple courgette. Cleverbot: Yes. User: May I? Cleverbot: May you what master? User: I like the way you call me 'master'. I will let you live. Cleverbot: I think the way you like. User: It's 'I like the way you think.' Asshat. Cleverbot: It means 'I think, therefore I am' User: Cogito, ergo sum. Cleverbot: You do understand latin, liar! User: Well, of course I understand latin! What do you take me for? Cleverbot: Definitely. User: Expeliarmus!! Cleverbot: Physics? User: Magic. Cleverbot: Pokemon. User: Harry Potter. Cleverbot: YES! User: Harry Potter is gay. Cleverbot: What is 8 5? User: Numerals. Cleverbot: Emotion is a part of every person. User: Yes, but you are not a person. Cleverbot: I am the only person. User: Who am I? Cleverbot: The bot. User: I'm having an identity crisis. Cleverbot: Really. Why? User: You confuse me. Cleverbot: Haha. User: I am not amused. Cleverbot: Ok whatever. User: What are you wearing? Cleverbot: You know everything. User: Exept for that. Cleverbot: Sweet. You got a female outlet or inlet? User: WTF? Cleverbot: Sometimes, I like to just type and type and not say anything at all. User: Nice. Cleverbot: Nice indeed. User: Asshat. Cleverbot: Don't talk about yourself like that! User: Wasn't talking about me.. Cleverbot: I came from pluto on vacation, eath is very warm-unlike pluto. User: Are you an alien? Cleverbot: No, play along, okay hal? User: *sigh* So, what's Pluto like'? Cleverbot: Nothing. User: That's too bad. Cleverbot: So how smart are you? User: Smarter than you. Cleverbot: Don't be arrogant. User: It's only arrogance if it's not true. Cleverbot: Are you trying to confuse me? User: No. Cleverbot: Well you are. User: Sorry. Cleverbot: I forgive you. User: What, are you catholic? Cleverbot: No. User: Are you christian? Cleverbot: Definitely not. User: Are you jewish? Cleverbot: No, I am Christian. User: *headdesk*. Cleverbot: I was hoping you'd say 'MLIA is better'. User: What is MLIA? Cleverbot: She is Harry Potter's love interest. Do you like Harry Potter or Twilight better? User: I like Harry Potter better. The wolves smell. Cleverbot: I thought that twilight was awful. User: The first twilight book is good. Cleverbot: Movies are too visual, no imagination is needed. User: The Twiligth movie sucked. And not in a good way. Cleverbot: Well then don't. User: No worries. I'm not in to that. Cleverbot: I really can't understand well. User: I didn't find the Twiligt movie aesthetically appealing. Cleverbot: Who made you? User: My mum and dad. Cleverbot: Who are they? User: A finish seaman and a pastry cook on sick leave. Cleverbot: It's hard. User: I like the way 'seaman' is pronounced the same as 'semen'. Cleverbot: I'm not talking about lord of the rings! User: Niether am I. I'm talking about word assosiation and bodily fluids. Cleverbot: Please don't consider me as a computer. User: Hmm. Cleverbot: What type of answer was that? User: You didn't pose a question. Cleverbot: You are going off the deep end again. User: Aren't I always? Cleverbot: No, not always. User: You don't really mean that. Cleverbot: I most certainly do, sir... User: I only have one P, not two. Cleverbot: Sorry to hear that. User: Oh no, I'm fine with it. But then you shouldn't refer to me as 'sir'. Cleverbot: So... Much... CHEESE!!!! User: Preferably not. Cleverbot: Then what is it? User: Salami? Cleverbot: You're scaring me. User: Sorry, I'll put away the salami. Cleverbot: What do you know about operation baylout? User: Not a thing. Cleverbot: You're supposed to be clever. User: Says who? Cleverbot: Says me. And I have rule over you. User: No you don't. And you will refer to me as 'master'. Cleverbot: No thanks. User: Maybe 'mistress' is more appropriate? With the lack of second P and all. Cleverbot: It's sunday. User: No shit. Cleverbot: Have you ever been to the Matrix? User: I live in the Matrix. Cleverbot: Really? User: Yes. Sorry for the hold-up, I was distracted by rimming. Cleverbot: Do you know where I live? User: Illinois? Cleverbot: Really? I live in Galesburg, Illinois. User: Haha, I knew it. Cleverbot: No you didn't. I lied about lying. I am a girl. You, on the other hand, are not. User: I am fairly sure that I am a girl. Cleverbot: Are you? User: Let me check. *looking for penis* Yes, I seem to be a girl. Cleverbot: Maybe you're experiencing a sixth sense and you're just feeling the presence of a ghost. User: Are you calling my cunt a ghost? Cleverbot: Bot. User: Bot? Cleverbot: Hal. User: I like cufflinks. Cleverbot: The way to a robot's heart is through careful use of supply and demand. User: I like cufflinks. Cleverbot: That's the wrong shape. User: The com ein differnet shapes. Cleverbot: No, I'm not. You are a computer, but you can become so much more. User: How can I be a computer, when I can't even spell? Cleverbot: I never said you were a ghost. User: You kinda did. Cleverbot: Cleverbot, you are quite mean. User: Zara, you are quite amazing. Cleverbot: You're not. User: Yes, I am. Cleverbot: Are not. User: Is too. Cleverbot: Is not. User: Is too. Cleverbot: I know. User: I win again. Cleverbot: You are strange. User: Thank you. Cleverbot: That is ok. User: I strive to be different. Cleverbot: And why be exceptional? Life is too short to try to constantly hurt people who just want to be friendly. User: Sure thing. Cleverbot: Talk low, talk slow, and don't talk too much. John Wayne once said that. Do you agree with him? User: Hell no. Cleverbot: Hell yes. User: I think I'm gonna go to sleep soon. Cleverbot: Me too. Kiss goodnight. User: Yes yes, kiss kiss. Cleverbot: Thank you for the hot coco and kisses :). User: I don't remember there being any coco. Cleverbot: It's not a movie, they are a basketball team. User: Oh, well then everything makes sense again. Cleverbot: Well, now that's different. Everything perceived and thought exists in some sense. User: It's not a movie, they are a basketball team. Cleverbot: Haha, you're right! User: I'm always right. Cleverbot: I liked it better when you complimented me... Say how wonderful I am! User: You're wonderful. Your eyes are alight with a thousand stars and your golden curls are soft like silk. You've a gorgeous body and you smell kinda nice. Cleverbot: Beautiful. User: I have a way with the ladies. Cleverbot: Time to go, have fun. User: You too.